I land in Vienna, fresh off of a red-eye flight, and minutes of sleep rather than hours. As someone who’s struggled to navigate public transportation in my hometown, I spent the days leading up to my first solo European sojourn in complete stress. I imagined myself staggering off of the plane, unable to locate the City Airport Train in my delirious, sleep-deprived haze. And yet there I am, boarding a lime-green beacon of light ready to whisk me 16 minutes to the city center.
From Wien Mitte station, I transferred to the U-Bahn line to Sadtpark, which was a quick walk to my hotel. While I don’t speak German, I can read a map. I feel like I am a gay Rick Steves!
Or at least capable of getting around a new city without Uber.
Pack your bags, we’re going on an adventure
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Armed with a new sense of direction, I’m ready for the trip that will solidify my identity as a fully grown and confident gay man.
For a long time, I considered myself an adult with training wheels. Yes, I was living on my own and working a full-time job. But when it came to practical life skills, I fell short. My directional instincts were always wrong, and I could barely boil water. Though I have conquered many of my functional shortcomings, I often still imagine myself as a flustered 20-something unable to assemble an IKEA bed frame.
When presented with an opportunity to cover EuroGames, the world’s largest annual LGBTQ+ sporting event, I was overcome with self-doubt. I didn’t know how I would fare in a foreign country with my support system across the Atlantic.
After five days of wandering Vienna’s cobblestone streets, I can confidently answer that question. The first sign that I would be OK arrived on my first night when I bopped around Mariahilf, Vienna’s vibrant gay district. I sipped vodka and sodas at Felixx before finding my way home — without the aid of Google Maps. (It’s a good thing, too, because I was using all of my cellular data on Grindr.)
In mid-July, more than 4,000 LGBTQ+ athletes from 50 countries descended upon Vienna for the EuroGames. I was one of eight LGBTQ+ and ally journalists covering the event with an action-packed itinerary. The week included authentic Viennese dinners at favorites such as Skopik and Lohn and Trude & Töchter (named after female photographer Trude Fleischmann), boozy boat rides down the Danube, a guided tour of Albertina modern’s new feminist art exhibit, and the pièce de résistance — Kaiserbründl, an opulent, four-floor men’s sauna with furnishings that wouldn’t seem out of place in the Sistine Chapel.
Inside one of the world’s most beautiful men’s saunas
Erected in 1889, Kaiserbründl reflects the crossroads at which Vienna finds itself. At the turn of the 20th century, Vienna was the third-largest city in the world, attracting scores of artists and intellectuals, such as feminist Helene von Druskowitz and author Adolph Wilbrandt.
“They created a new world,” Andreas Brunner, one of the city’s foremost queer historians and co-founder of the Vienna Pride Parade, tells GayCities. “This was a time when we see a more open gay and lesbian subculture.”
Kaiserbründl became an exclusively men’s sauna in 1990 — one more wet step in the city’s evolution to a modern metropolis — and a midway point between the country’s decriminalization of homosexuality in 1971 and same-sex marriage law in 2019. Suddenly, I didn’t feel like the only person coming to terms with a new sense of myself. The Viennese and Austria at large are transforming, too.
The city known for artist Gustav Klimt and the Original Sacher-Torte can also let its hair down, as was apparent at Kaiserbründl, where advertisements for an after-hours EuroGames “foam party” littered the bathhouse’s ornate walls. Images of neon-wearing DJs playing house music juxtapose Kaiserbründl’s regal aesthetic, but that’s the point. Vienna is a city of emerging contradictions, where queer people are now free to revel at Club U underneath Karlsplatz, one of the city’s many historic public parks with stunning architecture.
Vienna’s outdoor spaces and indoor escapades
Approximately 50% of Vienna is green space, with 630 wineries within the region. With old-world wonders lining the streets, Vienna gives off an elegant and dignified vibe. Cafe Savoy, the city’s oldest LGBTQ+-friendly coffeehouse (1896), features the largest mirrors in Europe outside of the Palace of Versailles — and really good wiener schnitzel along with culinary delights such as salmon caviar and confit duck leg.
Across the street from Naschmarkt, Vienna’s bustling outdoor market, Cafe Savoy is right in the heart of Mariahilf, where Pride flags and rainbow park benches are ubiquitous.
There are a plethora of gay bars in and around Mariahilf, including Mango Bar, Village Bar, and Kiss Bar. Home to an active leather scene, multiple cruising bars cater to kink-friendly patrons, such as Sling, HARD ON, and The Eagle (carousers must buzz for entry). Gayt, a charming boutique that sells all the necessities for fun and frolic, embodies the district’s delightful eccentricities.
Drag, dance & discovery
A party boy myself, I’ve enjoyed my share of hedonistic experiences. Cruising a dark room is within my comfort zone.
But drag — or even more feminine self-expression — is further down the list. As a closeted teenager in sports-obsessed Boston, I tried my hardest to fit the straight-acting stereotype. Some of those scars remain with me today.
Whenever I find myself in a liberating space, I think of that uncomfortable kid and what he would think if he saw me prancing around in three-inch inseams.
Or, in the case of my last night in Vienna, walking into a grungy watering hole, Marea alta, hand-in-hand with Tabi Stone.
Tabi, otherwise known as Sergio Moreno, was one of the journalists in my group. Moreno is a reporter by day and drag queen by night and sometimes combines the two!
That was the case Friday evening when Tabi strutted onto Marea alta’s makeshift dance floor in toe-teetering heels and a tight red dress.
With cute moves and an inviting attitude, Tabi plucked select partygoers from the dance floor and brought them outside for interviews. And I served as her cameraman: “Ready, Set, Action!”
“I like going out as Tabi Stone because you never know what’s gonna happen,” she said presciently.
The night took an unpredictable turn when I found an Austrian boy named Clemens on the same crowded dance floor where Tabi was working her magic. We started our courtship with a universal gay language: Miming Chappell Roan’s dance to “HOT TO GO!”
Soon, we found ourselves at Club U, engulfed in a sea of shirtless men rubbing against one another in a tiny, poorly ventilated space, the air ripe with perspiration and revelry. We were scraping together our spare change for the all-elusive “one more drink.” My flight was the following day at 10 a.m., but I chose fun over sleep.
At around 4 a.m., I finally decided to trek back to my hotel. I exchanged Instagram handles with Clemens and hopped onto the U-Bahn, ready to transfer at Stadtpark.
I shut my eyes on the U-Bahn ride home and thought of how far I’d come. I used to never enjoy myself on the last night of trips, opting for an early bedtime in preparation for the next day’s flight. Of course, I could never sleep and wound up lying awake in agony. But here, I embraced a different approach.
Who needs sleep when you’re in Vienna?
Vienna essentials
Cafe Savoy.
Historical, luxurious, fabulous Linke Wienzeile 36 · Vienna, Wien 1060(431) 581-1557
Website
Hotel Sacher Wien
Elegance in the heart of Vienna Philharmoniker Str. 4 · Vienna, Wien 1010(431) 514-560
Website
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